Interviewed in a series by Talyaa Liera 2011
You’ve studied different personal growth modalities. Have you drawn from them to create The Paradox Cure™? Which ones?
Every modality I studied had some or many aspects that actually thwarted people from accepting their magnificent essence. In other words, every modality I came across in some way was part of the problem, not the solution — all modalities had ways that actually taught resistance.
When change workers, people in the field of personal change and development, learn the principles of The Paradox Cure, they can understand more of why their modality works or does not work, and they become more effective in using their own modality.
Why not cut out resistance that comes from personal change modalities and just harness the authority that drives all healing, growth and transformation — Acceptance? It is more effective than any modality I have yet seen, by far.
In helping people uncover their purpose, do you see a recurring theme? Do most people, deep down, want just about the same thing?
What people truly want deep down inside is to have union with their soul.
What does that look like?
A person being aligned in thoughts, actions, and feelings, with their soul – FEELING and BEING alive — to live fully.
But that could look different for different people.
Sure. Everyone has their own purpose that is easily unveiled when they accept their magnificent essence. In other words, what I believe everyone wants is to FEEL and BE most ALIVE, which happens when each person accepts their magnificent essence.
You’ve used the phrase ‘magnificent essence’ quite a lot. What is that, exactly?
It is the seat of our soul, our psyche — yearning to live fully aligned with all life and all that entails, while expressing the core of what we desire. You could say that each person’s magnificent essence, at its core, is the desire to live fully and unique desires while living fully, while in connection to everything.
Notice I did say “in connection with everything” – for one to accept one’s magnificent essence, eventually one has to feel connection with everything. Acceptance with one’s magnificent essence happens through connection.
Resistance is repelling connection. With The Paradox Cure, I could have easily substituted the word “acceptance” for the word “connection.” However, using the word “connection” gets into foo-foo woo-woo territory, where people disengage and disconnect while thinking they are just connecting to everything. The foo foo person really checks out and doesn’t connect.
Some Buddhists I met have bastardized the concept of non-attachment. Healthy non-attachment is about not resisting and getting caught up in an outcome to a desire while still feeling and honoring the desire.
The bastardization is about trying not to feel one’s desires, or connect to one’s desire’s or have desires – that is resistance of their magnificent essence, and I see more harm with than good. Buddhists resisted more than any other clients I had – they resisted life itself!
What’s your problem with Buddhists?
The problem, as I see it, is with the way some Buddhists practice — they resist their magnificent essence by resisting their desires. The Paradox Cure teaches to explore, embrace, and trumpet every desire one has, not to resist a desire, but to accept every desire.
This does NOT mean acting upon every desire, but to accept each desire that one has. The Enemy has programmed us to not accept our desires, to resist our desires. One of the best ways to accept our magnificent essence is to accept all our desires — find them, each and every desire, feel them, each and every desire, embrace them — each and every desire.
Most of the horrible things people do on the planet, I believe, they do out of resisting one’s desires.
How are we programmed to not accept our desires?
So many ways. I’ll give a few of the biggies:
Some people actually think some of their emotions are negative. There is no such thing as a negative emotion – only resisted emotion which is, at its essence, desire. All emotions are energy in motion summoned by the body to deal with something, to express some desire.
Want another biggie? We are actually taught in modern civilization that there is something to fear deep in our soul, our psyche and that if we go to the depths of our being we’ll go crazy. Well, the depths of our being is our magnificent essence.
Another one – we disconnect from our life force. Don’t be too cold! Don’t be too hot! Don’t be too hungry! Don’t be too sleepy! Don’t exercise too much! Don’t feel too much! Don’t shake our body too much! Don’t go crazy! Don’t have a nervous breakdown!
I think everybody would benefit greatly by experiencing hunger, sleep deprivation, exhaustion from proper exercise, and maybe even getting close to a nervous breakdown – because all of those are our life force, our magnificent essence being felt. Our society teaches us, programs us, to not feel our life force which is our magnificent essence.
If we are so programmed, how do we break free from the programming?
First, you have to Face The Enemy, acknowledging that there are societal forces that don’t want us to fully experience our bodies. Second, you have to rediscover your magic, that which is a bold and boundless energetic expression of what you hold most dear to your heart and soul. Third, you have to reclaim your power. And fourth, you have to remaster your life.
This is the Four Fold Path to assimilate The Paradox Cure. I will offer info resources that have step-by-step ways to do this. I will bring back the Dream Teams!
What are the Dream Teams?
A way to Heal, Grow & Transform
Out of my purpose to help people heal, grow, and transform, I created the company Dreams For Real. Dream Teams were 12 week intensive courses for people to uncover their life purpose and live it, by making their dreams real.
My first two Dream Teams had six people and they were outrageous! People uncovered what they really loved to do quickly and easily. However, along with uncovering what they loved to do, all the things that they repressed and their challenges to living fully came up in their face.
For example, one person had her alcoholism issues come up, which got in her way of living fully. I told her to go deal with it, go to AA, and she did. But according to AA, it would take her years – and even then she’d never get over being an alcoholic.
Another woman had strong father issues and was still angry at her father. I told her, “Deal with it – get some therapy, do some anger work, see this person and see that person.” The problem was, that was going to take her months or years with current personal change methodologies. She was only able to do some of the homework of the Dream team – and could not truly pursue living fully.
Personal Change Resources Are Not That Effective
What I quickly realized was that most personal change resources out there were really NOT swift, effective, lasting, or meaningful. Not to the standards I had and needed to help people make their lives awesome, and live their dreams.
My energetic young self at age 28 realized that I was going to have to get this information myself and develop my own personal change path that was swift, effective, lasting, and meaningful.
I moved to Boulder, CO – a Mecca of personal change and transformation – in 1995 and enrolled in a Master’s Degree program (Avalon Institute and Regis University). I involved myself in many transformational modalities of personal change and development.
I have shared the rest of the story, where I realized that every modality I had learned of personal change and development actually was too slow. In 2003 I had finally found what I had searched for since I was 17 (1983) – the underlying principle for all healing, growth, and transformation – acceptance, part of what I now call The Paradox Cure.
When do you plan to restart your Dream Teams? A course to uncover your purpose sounds like an amazing thing.
I am working on that now at this website. However, uncovering your purpose and living it are two distinct things. I will first offer a path for people to get what their heart and soul want, their life purpose.
Then we can go about dealing with the resistance to living our dreams. Eventually I will offer all the steps needed for people to uncover and live their life purpose and dreams – which again is about accepting their magnificent essence.
I didn’t realize when I created the Dream Teams at age 28, how much resistance existed that was underground – what I now call The Enemy. I didn’t realize I was up against something massive and insidious, The Enemy — beliefs, habits and fears that our culture indoctrinates, programs, and conditions from birth and even before birth into probably every human being.
My job in any new incarnation of the Dream Teams is to create modules that address different aspects of dealing with the ENEMY and each challenge to the path of uncovering your life purpose and living one’s dreams.
Why did you create the Dream Teams?
At age 17 I uncovered my life purpose. Actually I was shown my life purpose, which was to heal, grow and transform myself and help others do the same. I got to a place where I was very effective at helping people uncover their life purpose and live it.
Many people shocked me at how they resisted their essence as they uncovered their purpose. The Dream Team was born when I was 17, for I knew I would create something like it. It took me 11 years to get it together. Everything I did in that 11 years was around being able to create the Dream Teams.
For example, why I became a ski instructor and a tour guide of the US – that was about me living my dreams, on purpose, so I could teach other people and lead them into doing the same thing for themselves.
Everything I have done relates and supports my purpose I was given at age 17. This is the power of knowing one’s purpose — life is very meaningful, clear and connected.