Excerpts from a 2011 interview — On Paradox Cure
What do you think most people’s biggest problem is?
Simply that they don’t accept themselves — they resist their magnificent essence!
I am not talking about people’s beliefs, nor what people believe life should be, but their magnificent essence which they were born with and cut themselves off from in many ways. People resist their life force, their energy, the power of who and what they are.
I call this challenge of accepting our life force, “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”. Let me explain.
You asked about people’s biggest problem. First people need to get past THE ENEMY — the beliefs, habits and fears that our culture indoctrinated, programmed and conditioned into us. After facing the ENEMY, people must face the sheer utter lightness of being.
One’s being, one’s magnificent essence, is an incredible power radiating potential beyond what people once thought was possible. When we face the truth and real feeling of who we are at our core, it is a light of the Divine that radiates from us. It scares most of us — it is so vast. We are not taught how to deal with it, only how to resist it.
Resistance creates suffering!
What relieves suffering?
Acceptance – of whatever you are resisting. Again, suffering creates resistance, so acceptance is the antidote.
Why are you bringing out The Paradox Cure?
We as a whole — society and the personal development field —are mostly mistaken. We believe that something is wrong with us. What is more accurate and vastly more helpful is that we resist all that is right within us, who we are — our brilliance, our heart, our magic, our love, our imagination, our Soul, and most importantly our deep yearning desire — a desire stronger than anything else on this planet — to FEEL ALIVE!
Overall our current helping professions are not asking the right questions, and have not for way too long. The question to ask is — what has you feel the most alive now? FEEL IT! If anything is getting in the way of feeling life, then stop resisting that.
That is what The Paradox Cure does — helps you stop resisting whatever gets in the way of FEELING MOST ALIVE.
Most importantly we resist our deep yearning desire, a desire stronger than anything else on this planet, to FEEL most ALIVE. Our resistance to FEELING most ALIVE is what makes life hard and is our biggest problem!
Have you seen that light of the divine yourself?
Yes, I have experienced it.
So what happened?
I was hurting and I couldn’t accept it. It was too scary. I did not have me to help me with it — the me I am now with the skills I now possess.
I tried to get help. I went to a well-known wise buddhist monk, but following his advice would have taken me maybe 20-25 years to make space for the Divine. The hell with that. I read a book by Eckhart Tolle who went through some aspect of what I did, but he had no clear path articulated (actionable steps) on how to accept this divine light, just a bunch of woo-woo. I read hundreds of books – they did nothing. A dozen seminars here and there, nothing to actually accept this unbearable lightness of being.
Do you feel sad about that?
Some. Mostly I have anger at how much pain I feel almost every day and the challenges of my day-to-day life — that dwarfs any sadness about some divine light. Let me not be in pain for a day — I’ll take that. Let me be able to consistently work several hours a day — I’ll take that over divine light. I’d rather my life WORK than have some divine light. Is that clear?
Don’t you help people experience the divine light?
Sure, but so what? I’d rather help them experience a life that works. A lot of people who say they experience the Divine Light have lives that don’t work. They use their spirituality to deny their suffering, and suffer they do. Many people who are spiritual use their spirituality to deny their suffering. They desperately need help but are afraid to do anything that would actually help them out their suffering, their pain and actually FEEL and BE more ALIVE.
Just accept the truth of your magnificent essence and eventually the Divine Light becomes part of your day-to-day experience. But when you go after the Divine Light like too many well intending people do, they do themselves a disservice and continue needless suffering.
You’ve studied different personal growth modalities. Have you drawn from them to create The Paradox Cure™? Which ones?
Every modality I studied had some or many aspects that actually thwarted people from accepting their magnificent essence. In other words, every modality I came across in some way was part of the problem, not the solution — all modalities had ways that actually taught resistance.
When change workers, people in the field of personal change and development, learn the principles of The Paradox Cure, they can understand more of why their modality works or does not work, and they become more effective in using their own modality.
Why not cut out resistance that comes from personal change modalities and just harness the authority that drives all healing, growth and transformation — Acceptance? It is more effective than any modality I have yet seen, by far.
In helping people uncover their purpose, do you see a recurring theme? Do most people, deep down, want just about the same thing?
What people truly want deep down inside is to have union with their soul.
What does that look like?
A person being aligned in thoughts, actions, and feelings, with their soul – FEELING and BEING alive — to live fully.
But that could look different for different people.
Sure. Everyone has their own purpose that is easily unveiled when they accept their magnificent essence. In other words, what I believe everyone wants is to FEEL and BE most ALIVE, which happens when each person accepts their magnificent essence.
You’ve used the phrase ‘magnificent essence’ quite a lot. What is that, exactly?
It is the seat of our soul, our psyche — yearning to live fully aligned with all life and all that entails, while expressing the core of what we desire. You could say that each person’s magnificent essence, at its core, is the desire to live fully and unique desires while living fully, while in connection to everything.
Notice I did say “in connection with everything” – for one to accept one’s magnificent essence, eventually one has to feel connection with everything. Acceptance with one’s magnificent essence happens through connection.
Resistance is repelling connection. With The Paradox Cure, I could have easily substituted the word “acceptance” for the word “connection.” However, using the word “connection” gets into foo-foo woo-woo territory, where people disengage and disconnect while thinking they are just connecting to everything. The foo foo person really checks out and doesn’t connect.
Some Buddhists I met have bastardized the concept of non-attachment. Healthy non-attachment is about not resisting and getting caught up in an outcome to a desire while still feeling and honoring the desire.
The bastardization is about trying not to feel one’s desires, or connect to one’s desire’s or have desires – that is resistance of their magnificent essence, and I see more harm with than good. Buddhists resisted more than any other clients I had – they resisted life itself!
What’s your problem with Buddhists?
The problem, as I see it, is with the way some Buddhists practice — they resist their magnificent essence by resisting their desires. The Paradox Cure teaches to explore and embrace every desire one has, not to resist a desire, but to accept every desire.
This does NOT mean acting upon every desire, but to accept each desire that one has. The Enemy has programmed us to not accept our desires, to resist our desires. One of the best ways to accept our magnificent essence is to accept all our desires — find them, each and every desire, feel them, each and every desire, embrace them — each and every desire.
Most of the horrible things people do on the planet, I believe, they do out of resisting one’s desires.
How are we programmed to not accept or desires?
So many ways. I’ll give a few of the biggies:
Some people actually think some of their emotions are negative. There is no such thing as a negative emotion – only resisted emotion which is, at its essence, desire. All emotions are energy in motion summoned by the body to deal with something, to express some desire.
Want another biggie? We are actually taught in modern civilization that there is something to fear deep in our soul, our psyche and that if we go to the depths of our being we’ll go crazy. Well, the depths of our being is our magnificent essence.
Another one – we disconnect from our life force. Don’t be too cold! Don’t be too hot! Don’t be too hungry! Don’t be too sleepy! Don’t exercise too much! Don’t feel too much! Don’t shake our body too much! Don’t go crazy! Don’t have a nervous breakdown!
I think everybody would benefit greatly by experiencing hunger, sleep deprivation, exhaustion from proper exercise, and having a nervous breakdown – because all of those are our life force, our magnificent essence being felt. Our society teaches us, programs us, to not feel our life force which is our magnificent essence.
If we are so programmed, how do we break free from the programming?
First, you have to Face The Enemy. Second, you have to rediscover your magic. Third, you have to reclaim your power. And fourth, you have to remaster your life. This is the Four Fold Path to assimilate The Paradox Cure.