Grow Big Love
Grow Big Love: Cultivate A Sacred Passionate Partnership
Overview
Imagine a partnership that sustains and deepens an experience of being deeply in love, feeling more physical and emotional desire than the beginning of the relationship, waking up each morning with delight at the prospect of another day with your beloved, and having the same passion for each other decades later.
In this partnership, each is willing to work through challenges and prioritize their partner’s health, well-being, wants, and needs.
This is not depicted in the fairy tales of “happily ever after” because it is based on a different foundation — a foundation with each partner knowing and expressing their LIVING PURPOSE. Together they uncover the partnership’s Living Purpose that transcends their individual lives. Additionally, they use the partnership as a vehicle for healing, growth, and evolution.
What emerges from this deep well of purposeful partnership is BIG LOVE. However, it requires growth, cultivation, nurturing, and care throughout its life, similar to a garden. When nurtured properly, this kind of partnership inspires many and ignites hope that something truly exists beyond the confines of our fairy tales, movies, books, and most stories.
Imagine BIG LOVE
Imagine Big Love
Do you believe BIG LOVE is possible? Before you answer, imagine this:
Imagine an attraction so alive and captivating that you yearn to kiss your partner just by glancing at them. Seeing their face, body, or silhouette, or hearing their voice ignites an instant fire of desire, a passion that has remained as big as it was last year, the year before, and so on.
Imagine a commitment to your partner’s health and well-being so unwavering that you’re willing to move mountains, overcoming any obstacle, even when everyone around you advises you to give up, let go, and accept the inevitable.
Imagine a connection so inspiring that it fuels your belief in the impossible. With this unwavering belief, you embark on extraordinary journeys, driven by the strength that only springs from such a profound and purposeful connection.
Imagine a gratitude so immense that you freely give anything and everything to your partner, even when it’s not reciprocated or possible to reciprocate, even after years have passed.
Imagine a companionship so profound that you wake up each day knowing that there’s no one else in the entire world you’d rather share your life with, be with, and share everything with. This bond remains strong even if you’re still grappling with unresolved conflicts from the day before.
Imagine a reverence so complete that it compels you to consider the potential impact of every major and minor decision before making it. You adjust your choices to be positive for your partner, striving to align your actions with their desires and needs.
Imagine a love so selfless that your partner’s happiness, joy, and pleasure are more important to you than your own need to give it to them. You feel deep love and joy knowing that your partner can find happiness and fulfillment from anyone, anything, or anywhere else.
Imagine a romance so magical that it transcends the desire to watch romantic TV shows or movies. The reality of your daily life makes all other romantic stories seem watered down, tawdry, or even absurd.
Imagine a love so powerful that you allow your partner to leave when they make a clear choice to do so. Even though you are devastated, you only wish them well and never wish harm upon them, no matter how angry or hurt you may become.
Imagine a devotion so absolute that you go beyond forgiveness when the unforgivable has occurred. When all seems lost for months, even years, you hold onto a flicker of hope that your partner may one day return, driven by your unwavering devotion that goes beyond reason, beyond doubt, and beyond, beyond.
Few Relationship “Experts” Believe BIG LOVE is Possible or Sustainable!
I experienced this for over a decade, and it is not just a fantasy. What is more fantastical is how the media and our culture portray romance, coupled with the disinformation from numerous well-intentioned relationship “experts.”
Ultimately, it’s your decision who you choose to guide you through your relationship or partnership. Make an informed choice, as it will significantly impact the success of your partnership.
NOTE: There are some incredible relationship educators and builders out there. Check out The Gottman Institute! https://www.gottman.com. I’m in awe of the founder’s brilliance and the work they’ve accomplished. I’ll be sharing many resources on my upcoming “resource” website.
Full disclosure: although all of the above I felt was real, it was not reciprocated. I found out many years later that I had been used, manipulated, betrayed and lied to for the entire relationship. It is possible to feel and give BIG LOVE, experience it fully, but not have it reciprocated or accepted. A partnership needs each partner to fully participate and accept BIG LOVE if it is to last.
How I Work With Partnerships to Grow Big Love
How I Work With Partnerships
I no longer offer therapy for individuals, partners, or in groups as used to. Why? I do not need to because, in 2003, I discovered what drives all healing, growth, and transformation — something highly effective, swift, long-lasting, and meaningful. Once I employed my answer in 2010, The Paradox Cure, my clients obtained results unprecedented from any modality or approach I learned, experienced, or read about
I believe no agent of change, or coach or therapist should make choices or give that much advice for individuals or partners, though perhaps recommendations only after each partner has done their work, reflected and come up with their true wants and agenda.
To this end, I facilitate individuals and partners to uncover their true desires, which differs from what they initially think they want. I achieve this through a process I developed long ago that uncovers Living Purpose. It involves both self-directed exploration and guided experiential sessions with me.
Once partners come to know their deeper truths, desires, needs, and Living Purpose, I can then provide options that align with their wants and explore the potential consequences of those options.
I also educate, train, and inspire individuals to cultivate “Big Love” — a foundation for a Sacred Passionate Partnership.
First, uncovering the Living Purpose of each partner and the partnership as a whole is essential. However, there are stages partners must go through before partners can effectively uncover and co-create the Living Purpose of their partnership.
A Road Map To Grow Big Love
Strengthen Your Foundation
- Be Authentic With Yourself
- Be Open And Honest With Your Partner
Deal With Your Backlog of Issues — Uncover, Heal, Mend & Rebuild
- Uncover The Unresolved Issues
- Assess Your Desire to Rebuild Your relationship
- Choose — Deal With The Issues With Your Current Partner or Next
Choose A Meaningful Path Forward: Grow Big Love
- Generate Partnership MOJO
- Uncover & Co-Create the Partnership’s Living Purpose
- Make New Agreements that align with The Living Purpose of Each Partner & the Partnership
A lot of Existing Partnership Information Kills Passion
As you read from this point forth, when I reference a man, I also include individuals that identify as a man or are taking on the role of the masculine, whatever gender they identify with and whatever sexual orientation they choose. I use the pronouns of he/she only to make easy reference to the roles of masculine and feminine, acknowledging that some people choose they as their pronoun.
We’re constantly bombarded with advice on improving relationships, some of it is helpful. Although from my perspective I understand how most of it is harmful, or in the best case, simply insufficient.
To truly Grow Big Love, a man (or partner in a masculine role) must understand how to be a better man. This involves creating attraction and supporting the woman’s journey as a woman (or partner in a feminine role). It’s crucial for the woman to embrace her strength, offering support and allowing the man to be the best version of herself.
An overabundance of information about partnerships often teaches and leads men to adopt more feminine traits to an excess, which often diminishes attraction. Conversely, when a man diminishes attraction or outright kills it, women can resort to creating drama to reignite it. This can manifest in various ways, such as nagging, cheating, withholding intimacy, depression, overspending, overeating, excessive drinking, addictions, and even overuse of pharmaceuticals. These behaviors are common in failed partnerships.
I understand my explanation is oversimplified, but it’s more accurate than you might think.
I also come across partnership information that outlines how a woman can behave or cope in a man’s world, rather than how a woman can express herself authentically in her own world. Instead, what if we focused on empowering women to be the best versions of themselves and then inviting men to join them on this journey?