I don’tlike how I am when I encounter incompetency – ANGRY. I encounter incompetency almost everywhere, and have for most of my life. I don’t like how angry I get when I come across people that cost me a lot of time, money and energy because they have not put the attention, time, energy and focus into their jobs. But my angry reactions get in the way of my ease, power and freedom and living my purpose.
Today an IT person told me to delete my email account on my Mac to fix a problem. I immediately lost 2 ½ months of emails permanently which will cost me over 8 hours. I got so worked up that I harmed my body, most likely shortened my life to some extent, created aches and pains in my body, and got less of what I wanted. I am angry about how angry I get.
This is me NOT claiming my personal power – I throw my power away. I would like to think that stating my truth will change it. It helps, but doesn’t do all the change work needed. I need a lot more help to change this behavior – my anger over incompetence. I need to stalk my reactionary behavior.
Calling Out Behaviors
Stalking personal power is about calling out the behaviors we don’t like that get in the way of claiming our personal power and health. Deep KNOWING goes beyond a place of sweating the small stuff AND medium stuff. Deep KNOWING allows us to discern what truly is important to focus on.
As I drop deeper in my KNOWING, I call out my behavior of getting so worked up over small and medium stuff. What do I do about it? My best guess is to stalk my reactionary behavior where I record when I get angry, what level, for how long, over what stimulus, and the effects. Then I will go back and rewrite the story into a more empowering, inspiring and positive story that moves me forward in my purpose.
For example, with the IT incompetent twit (note the snark – still angry!) I can rewrite the story to – he showed me how vulnerable my email storage is, and better now to lose emails when my business is not up to full speed rather than when lost emails would matter a lot more. Also, I do not have a solid organizational structure for easy access to my emails, nor do I have it in the cloud where I could be more efficient.
I Resist Stalking
I would prefer to not to stalk my reactionary behavior. It is work I say to myself. It won’t work anyway. I won’t get any help. BUT this behavior is about more than just anger. It is about me reacting rather than responding, and some heavy costs over my reactions. I react in many places in my life.
My reactionary behavior wastes time, BUT I have an immense emotional charge and story around wasting time. Why not be smart and use my energy way more wisely, and be magnificently creative and imagine a way to use the experience of incompetency to good use? Probably because I believe bitching about all of this will influence people into taking action. It does at times, but I am losing out!
Where do you have a consistent behavior that gets in the way of you living your purpose powerfully?