Tango Matrix Part 3- Neo’s Incessant Inkling

Dave Donatiu
05/28/2009

In the movie Matrix, Neo is aware that some profound truth exists but is beyond his grasp.  He knows the cause of the incessant inkling as The Matrix, and is restless in his sleep and psyche as he intuits and feels that a deeper truth awaits him.
A very small percentage of the Matrix’s human population sense the matrix.

When I was 17, I began to strongly feel an incessant inkling that a deeper truth existed, and awaited me if only I could find some version of the red pill.  As an ambitious seeker, I participated in many personal growth and spiritually oriented workshops, seminars, retreats and organizations in pursuit of this metaphorical red pill.  After I experienced Avatar I stopped my searching- I was no longer a seeker.  I had swallowed the red pill and found that everything I wanted rested within.  Since Avatar I have not felt any urge to seek or find any deeper truth outside of myself.

However, things have changed in my psyche.  I do not sense something outside myself that I am seeking, yet after I began to dance Tango, an ever increasing incessant inkling arose from unseen depths of my psyche.  As Tango became my life path of emotional, mental and spiritual development and passion, the world of Tango held up a brilliant mirror to reflect things about myself I had not known.

This mirror seems likely to expand radically if I take the red pill.  I believe I glimpsed a part of this radically expanded mirror during the Denver Tango Festival as I felt better than ever in my emotional state of being.  My better feeling emotional state showed me I usually reside in a less desirable emotional state – way less desirable.  A deeper truth of myself, most likely found in the Tango Matrix, will probably reflect a deeper truth of my application of personal skill sets, belief systems, character and vision.

Ulysses, my Morpheus of Tango, gives credence to the existence of the Tango Matrix.  Now more than ever, I feel in my bones a deeper truth awaiting me in the Tango Matrix.  I believe swallowing the red pill will thrust upon me a radically different way of believing, acting, being and envisioning in my life.

In a longer communication with Ulysses, he detailed what it would take to swallow the red pill.  “Dave, are you willing to accept that:”

  • all of your beliefs of Tango are not true
  • you will be compelled to forgive and love the most snobby of tangueras and arrogant of tangueros
  • you will fully understand why people burn out and/ or become disinterested in Tango, but can not just tell them why, for telling them will only deepen their dissatisfaction
  • if you ever want to show the Tango Matrix to another, you can’t just show them it, but only lead them ever so craftily to rabbit hole where they will have to choose the red or blue pill on their own
  • you will have to accept the nature of humanity, including its ugliness, and how it shows up in Tango
  • you will have to be kind to even the most superficial and narcissistic of people in Tango
  • you will have to go beyond your inherent coding of how you want to act in Tango
  • at times you have acted dishonorably in Tango
  • you will have to forgive yourself
  • you must stop your fight against the unbearable lightness of being – what you referred to in your writings, and flirt with it and accept it
  • being a fool in Tango and taken advantage of is of greater value than being guarded and protected
  • you must take nothing in Tango personally

Ulysses left me with these last two items needed to be willing to accept – the hardest two as he put it-

  1. you must have absolute faith (different than religion) as it is the power of personal creation
  2. you must absolutely trust that life energy/ Universe is not neutral, but conspires to assist and compel you to be better at ALL times

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The Author

Dave Donatiu

Comments

3 Comments

  1. Leonard Krause

    All you say resonates as being true to me. But understanding has its limits.
    For example, even though I might understand the inner workings of a slot machine, the knowledge brings me no closer to hitting the jackpot than a random person just walking up to it and pulling the handle.

    All I know is this….

    When we were at Stone Soup at the milonga, I asked you to dance with me because there was a certain joy that I saw emanating from you when I observed your dancing earlier at Valentango in Portland. I wanted to have the direct personal experience of it; and the only way to have access to that experience was by dancing. All of the conversation in the world could not have impart that experience on me, no matter the degree of intention I had to knowing it.

    Our dance together for me was a blessed conversation between two human beings and made me smile inside. We were speaking a language through our dance that was totally independent from who we were as personalities, i.e., our “back stories,” our likes and dislikes, our social position, our jobs, our problems, etc. It was a conversation that could only have happened in the context of tango.

    In life there is always background noise, no matter whether you point a radio telescope out into the universe and hear the static left over from the big bang, or you walk in the forest hoping for silence only to be distracted by the constant chirping of birds. Our minds tend to tune out the background noise we find acceptable and fixate negatively on the background noise we find unacceptable (i.e., a cell phone conversation on a quiet train).

    Perhaps the only way to understand tango is through tango. Perhaps the rest is just background noise. Thus, the choice becomes ‘do we consider the background noise in tango to be birds chirping and or a cell phone conversation?’ The choice is ours.

    BTW, I still smile inside when I think about the dance we had together. I look forward to more in the future.

    Reply
  2. Liz Dexia

    And the light shineth in darkness; and the darkness comprehended it not.

    Reply
  3. onesteptanguero

    two items of power
    will be there to guide you
    on your way to the
    other side

    but will you know when to
    use them
    will you know how?

    do not use them ever
    unless you become
    one with them

    so throw them away
    eat them all
    and digest until
    you are gone

    Reply

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